i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
