There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize