my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
