is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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