i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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