Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
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i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
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What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts