Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I think I just shit out all my problems.