so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not