dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
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I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
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the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.