so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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