Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
