dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
