The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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