well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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