i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize