But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Randomize