remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
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