This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?