i dont even know how to be here
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
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I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
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You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.