but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
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Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
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When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning