she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize