I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize