Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize