glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
sex in a hospital.. check
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
