Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I need moral support for this bender
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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