Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
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So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
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If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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