The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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