HIV tests are more positive than that guy
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
We named our party play list daddy issues
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Randomize
