someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on