what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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