She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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