our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.