just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy