would you consider him our boss?
then technically i slept with our boss
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
whose parrot is this?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.