It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional