He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
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bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
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I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?