why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
nutella sex= disaster
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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