I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
vagina is talking i cant
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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