dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked and annoyed.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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