I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
