One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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