you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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