Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
