Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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