I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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