there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize