apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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