whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
