i permit you to call me
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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