Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
