So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
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he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
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Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.