How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
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you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
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Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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