I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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