Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
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You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
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We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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