The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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