Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my gift to your gina
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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