I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize