My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
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