Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize